(Published in the Star on 6 Feb 2013)

Despite knowing the importance of asking questions, Jimmy is experiencing difficulties and frustrations in asking powerful questions. The results are not what he expected.

Jimmy feels hat his employees are complaining that he is asking too many questions and not giving them the answers they need.

He is also discouraged as he is often unsure of what to ask, which causes him to fire his questions everywhere except getting to where they should be.

He realises why asking questions is not as easy as it appears to be and wants to learn the right way in doing it to move people forward.

In Lesson 11, we shall guide you on how to ask powerful questions in a natural and spontaneous manner yet making a difference in any conversation that you hold.

To help you enhance this skill, a short exercise is provided for you to practise your questioning skills.

Use the “Funnel Approach” in Questioning

One reason why Jimmy’s employees were irritated by his quesions was because he was questioning them without a proper structure.
If he had “funnelled” them by asking broad questions before delving into smaller details, his employees would be more comfortable to answer them naturally, without even realising that he was asking questions.

Here are some examples:
– What is the situation?
– Can you explain more?
– What do you want to see happen?
– What needs to be done?
– When will you do it?

Keep a tight conversation

Another reason why Jimmy’s questions were not getting him anywhere was because they were somewhat more of an interview rather than a deep conversation.
If he had kept to a tight conversation it would have demonstrated that he was attentive to every word that was spoken.

Being attentive here means he would capture key words expressed by his employees to build his next line of questions and this continues throughout the conversation.

Doing this will deepen his conversations with people and help him to gain access to their inner issues as well as major areas that would have otherwise escaped his attention.

Besides enjoying conversations with him, they would benefit too as he makes them feel important by using their words. This helps them to be more aware when they hear back those words they said from him.
Here is an example:
Coach: What would you like to talk about?
Coachee: I would like to talk about my relationship with my wife.
Coach: What about the relationship with your wife?
Coachee: It’s getting bad?
Coach: What do you mean by ‘bad’?

Use more “What” questions

Jimmy’s employees felt his questions were “confrontational” because of the use of “why this and what that” in them.
If he had used more of “what” questions why would have been more stimulating fo them to answer. Not only this, the answers that Jimmy would get would be more objective, impartial and less emotional.

Power up your questions

Jimmy’s questions were probably weak. He did not realise that it is not just about asking questions, but more of asking powerful questions that can move the person forward.

Some of the powerful questioning characteristics are: they are focused on the goal (example: What do you want to see happening?); call for future actions (example: What do you want to do?); uncover roadblocks (example: What is stopping you?) and they boost their self-belief (example: What can you still do?)

How Much Do You Know About Asking Questions?

What will your questions be to these situations below?

1) Move them forward.

2) Find out their goal.

3) Persuade them to act.

4) Empower them to make the change.

5) Get them to evaluate their decision.