(Published in the Star on 16 Jan 2013)

There is a saying that questioning and listening are like the fragrant coconut rice and the sambal belacan in the nasi lemak dish. You cannot have one without the other!

When you listen well, you automatically ask questions. As a coach or a leader, it is fundamental that you have to be good at asking questions; otherwise, it spells failure to coaching. In fact, we can pick a good leader from a not so good one by the questions they ask!

In this Lesson 10, we shall explore the importance and power of questioning and what they can do to change the circumstances of anyone’s situation and move them forward. We will also understand why it pays for a coach or leader to be good at asking powerful questions than to tell people what to do.

What are Powerful Questions?

Powerful questions stretch people to think harder and more creatively. The clue to powerful questions is it causes people to pause for a while before they can come up with the answer. It is because the question triggers a “beacon light” in the brain to search for the solution or idea. Powerful questions also evoke or challenge people to think of ways that they have not done before.

What Helps People to Ask Powerful Questions?

The key factor lies in our deep listening. When we listen deeply, we automatically become curious and intuitive too. Questions come out spontaneously and intuitively too. We will ask them in such a manner where they are directly related to what need to be asked at the very moment.

Keeping a tight conversation helps to deepen our listening. By this it means that we follow every response that is made and then convert part of the response into a question.

An example is: The coachee says, “I’m feeling very down.” The coach asks, “What makes you so down?” While we can pre-plan our questions to be asked in order to be good at it, listening well is still the most effective way.

Why Are Questions So Important?

Even if you say “no comments” to a question someone asks you, it is still a response that you are making. Questions simply trigger our mind to say something; more so when the questions are powerful, they can do so many wonderful things. It can stimulate your thinking (what do you think?) It can persuade you to act (what will make you do it?) It can challenge you (what is one small step that you can still take?) It helps you to focus on priorities (out of the 5, which is the best?) It puts you in control (can I ask you a question?) And so on.

So when a coach or leader uses questions well, they move people forward, make them innovative, get them out of their comfort zone and can even empower them to act!

What Are The Types Of Questions And When Is One Better Than The Other?

There are basically five types of question in the question bag of a coach or leader. The most common and perhaps the easiest is the close question where only a “yes” or “no” answer is evoked.

It is best used when the purpose is to firmly establish a position in the mind of the person; for instance, “Are you committed to get it done?”

However, it is not healthy to ask a close question when we want people to express themselves.

Another type is the open question. This one enables people to speak up; for instance, “Can you tell me more about it?” However, open questions should not be asked as they can lead us to get too much detail or when the person is long-winded!

Leading question is the third type. This one contains the “subject matter” or the answer in it. One example is, “Have you told him that you dislike the way he talks to you?” This is not encouraged as it forces the person to answer along certain lines.

Sometimes people can feel manipulated as well. However, leading questions are good when used in teaching or mentoring as they are made to focus on areas that are important.

The fourth type is the probing question where more details are asked from the person; for instance, “Why is it important for you to be fair?”

While it is good to get more details of the issue, they should be kept to the minimum in order not to be “drowned” in them.

The last one is the challenging question. It stretches the person to move forward, for instance, “What else can you try?” However, it should not be asked too soon lest the person may feel intimated or being confronted.

A good coach or leader will know what type of questions to ask at the right time to get the best result for the person.

How Much Did You Learn From Here?

1. Why is asking questions more powerful than providing answers to the person?

2. What are the many uses of questions? Give an example for each one of them?

3. What are the types of questions, and when should they be used and not used?

4. What helps people to ask powerful questions?

5. What will you do from now onward to make asking questions (instead of giving answers) as a way of life?