(Published in the Star on 21 Nov 2012)

A successful coach believes and abides by the coaching principle of equal partnership

Both Raymond and Michelle became certified coaches almost about the same time. Logically Raymond should be ahead of her as he is older and has more years of commercial experience. But unfortunately this is not the case. In fact, Michelle is doing much better than him. Three years into professional coaching, she has already gained a good reputation in her success in helping her clients to get good results. Her clients praised her for her good coaching skills and her passion to help people. Sadly, Raymond does not enjoy a good showing and is still struggling with his business.

What really explains Michelle’s success and Raymond’s difficulties in making a mark in coaching?

In this Lesson 6, we shall compare and analyse both these two personalities in their coaching work to know what drives success (and failure).

Success Factors

The single most important factor lies in her outlook of positive mindedness and respect for others. Raymond, on the other hand, cannot leave behind his ego and “superiority complex” because he is so conscious about his “I know more” outlook attributed to his many years of corporate experience. But for Michelle, she believes and abides by the coaching principle of equal partnership, where she gives full respect to her coachees and never feels that she knows more than them. She talks with them and not down to them. Due to this, she works collaboratively (rather than authoritatively) with them – stretching them for their answers rather than telling them what she feels they should do. This positive outlook influences her other behaviour too; she is warm, understanding and compassionate, and holds them in high regard. This leads to her strong bond with them. But this was glaringly absent in Raymond’s case.

Positive Outlook

For Michelle to earn trust from her coachees requires little effort as she has already built a positive “aura” that exudes sincerity and authenticity. She creates a safe environment for her coachees to bare their souls to her. Due to this, she gets access to their “inner worlds” where she knows their underlying issues and truths. In Raymond’s case, his arrogance and “know all” outlook does not inspire this “safe” feeling in his coachees. They thus distance themselves from each other. They are reluctant to speak up lest they get ridiculed, judged, criticised and so on. The most he can get is half truths or full lies, which do not help at all.

Coaching Failures

A two-way commitment, which is present between Michelle and her coachees, is not present in Raymond’s relationship with his coachees. His only so-called “commitment” in helping his coachees is to bark questions at them like, “What else can you do? What more? What is another way? To them, he is detached from them. Unlike him, Michelle makes herself an integral part of the change journey and is truly a partner-in-arms. She works with them to generate ideas and even goes beyond the call of coaching duty to be with them at the scene of action. They can see that she is really committed to their goals as well. This becomes their morale booster that inspires them to move forward more readily. But this is not all. She is focused and firm on the results that she wants them to make. She has her eyes on the ball always. Healthy feedback pervades the atmosphere. Every one of them knows where they are at every point of the coaching journey, where they are going and what they need to do differently to get to where their final destination eventually is. In the end, getting to the goal is only a question of time.

How Much Did You Learn From Here?

1) Why is the age and experience of a coach not fundamental to the coaching success?

2) What happens when a coach believes in equal partnership instead of an autocratic one?

3) Why is the coach’s outlook perhaps the most important determinant to success or failure of coaching?

4) “Without truth telling, the coaching relationship is doomed to fail.” Please explain.

5) Why is it important for the coach to be as committed as the coachee in the coaching relationship?